My First Affair with Bangalore...
My first affair with Bangalore …..
Its been more than three months that I am in Bangalore. The reason why I am telling you this is that I want to stress that whatever I have scribbled henceforth is not based on first impression, but huge experience. (I heard 3 months experience in software industries is considered as mammoth). The actual point being that I want to emphasize that I don’t jump to conclusions so early, like Tony Greg and so unlike Jeffrey Boycott. Talking of Jeffery Boycott, my sister says that he suffered throat cancer because he used to criticize every cricketer, which in turn strengthens her belief in God !
Anyways, talking of Bangalore, things anybody would recall most are idlis, dosas, bisibeLabhat, puLiogre, hoLLige (non- kannadigas should not dare to pronounce these) posh shopping malls, bunglows galore everywhere, traffic jams, Kannada language and software companies. (The above list was in the order of things that matter to me most to things that matter to me least)
The first impression of Bangalore was that it is a great city. Though I have come from a city not too different from Bangalore, Pune, I found many things dissimilar. Bangalore is bigger than Pune in every proportion, and the natives are also larger in size. (This size is average physical size, there are only 35-40% Kannadigas in Bangalore) But alas! My first impressions have seldom been correct, may it be city, a girl, a movie, a book, a hook, a crook, a cook or a look. The charm I found in this city was soon lost, similar to the gleam in eyes of a girl when she got to know me and my habits better.
Food has always been my primary necessity for living, besides air and water and so I will start of with food. If it were not food, I would have died. I always had an impression that idli and dosa (i think of them as younger sister and elder brother) constitute for an ideal breakfast. I said “and” and not “or”. I liked bisibeLabhat ( rice and sambar cooked together) a lot, though could not figure out why it tasted so differently at different places. After I leave Bangalore, I would give a million bucks to eat good bisibeLabhat. (the definition of good is up to me though) Water here has some characteristic to pull out hair from your scalp. I previously attributed the baldness of software engineers to the work pressure. But the best thing about Bangalore is air, that is climate. It is fair enough to say that climate here is always suitable to play cricket.
The up-market shopping malls (and those who visit those malls) can easily attract anybody to spend weekend evenings over there. This is the only thing which you can spend in those shopping malls, because if you intend to spend money over there, you got to be brave, rich, foolish or ill-fated. Ill-fated for many reasons, just one of them being having a girlfriend or wife who takes you to these malls for shopping (the real one). Though I am not ill-fated, one other option suits me well. My close ones can guess it easily. I purchased a go-bonkers jeans from that mall and literally went bonkers. It was the first time in my life that I saw a 5-digit price tag on a shirt. I told my friend that I can buy “3-digit” shirts in this amount, in my usual voice, which was heard by everybody in the shop. The shopkeeper didn’t let us to stay there for a minute more.
Being from Pune, I had a typical flat system mentality and only fantasized about living in a bunglow. But when I came here, picture was entirely different. I stay with my friends in a bunglow. Most people own bunglow because flats are costly ! They think of shifting into an apartment once they gather enough money ! I remember the typical sentence I used to hear in Pune “Tumhi kai baba, bangalewale lok ! “ (You are rich, you stay in bunglows , in a damn sarcastic way). I wish to learn Kannada and hear the counterpart of it.
You will find traffic jams everywhere in Bangalore. May it be highway, one-way or subway. There is a flyover in BTM, on which they have written the estimated date and month of completion, but not year. Pretty smart. It can take you anywhere between 25 minutes to 2 hours to reach from BTM to electronic city (distance is close to 9 km.).One more thing, you will find lot of street dogs in Bangalore, but pity, still the Hutch network is bad.
I am a movie buff, so everytime I pass through a movie theatre, I compulsorily look at the hoarding. And voila !!! I got to see here some of the best posters I had ever seen. Being an ardent movie fan, I feel it improper to call those clumsy, weird, cheap. The primary responsibility of poster is that it should tell you at first glance what is at store for you in the movie. From the posters I have seen here, I infer the following (These may be criterions to be followed to get the movie cleared from censor board). 75% area of the poster should be occupied by the face of hero. Hero must be a rebellion therefore must have a fierce look on his face ( I will kill you , you b****** - look), must have a weapon in his hand. This weapon may not be traditional like sword, gun, etc. The popularity of the movie is directly proportional to the innovation of the director in the use of weapon. Axe, bamboo stick ( in all sizes and shapes, just like movie heroines) ,chain (the one I use when I travel by train to lock my luggage) are all things of the past. If these are the weapons of past, then one might ask what are the ones which are currently “in” ? The answer is simple. These weapons do not have any names, in English, Hindi, Marathi or even Kannada. One weapon was a bamboo stick with 4 knives attached at both ends. The side view of this weapon would be similar to capital “I” in English language. The hero must be in some extraordinary pose like stretching arms, kicking, etc. Now combine the above two statements. Hero with a weapon and a pose. See it to believe it ! Hero must possess a moustache. I don’t know exactly, but that might be useful in differentiating hero from heroine. Hero must have a mother. Having father is optional. And now my favourite topic in movies, Heroines. Usually heroines here have a very small place on poster, many times only the face and that too blushing. I don’t know whether it is the public demand or it is because it is difficult to fit the whole picture of heroine. The heroine must have at least one song in traditional dress.
When in Pune, I used to think that the auto rickshaw wallas in Pune are worst of the lot, they are rude and leave no chance of deceiving the passengers. Opinions change. That’s why they are for. I now think that rickshaw-wallas in Pune are those God-send angels on earth to serve the aam-janta in Pune. Once a rickshaw-walla here asked my friend to give him Rs. 13 when the meter showed 12.50. Being asked why, he said “it would have been 13 if you would have gone some distance more”. One and half rate starts at 9.00 PM and ends at 10 PM. After that double meter starts ! This is not official, but this is what these people demand !
I liked Kannada language, its good to listen, but a tongue twister for any North-Indian. Especially I like the way they stretch the last letter of last word of sentence while pronunciation. This liking landed me in trouble. Instead of “Ondu watermelon juice kOdi”, I said “Ondu watermelon juice kUdi”. Some goof up in “kOdi and kUdi” changed the meaning from “Give me one watermelon juice” to “Drink one watermelon juice”. The shopowner at the cash counter made his eyes so big (I remembered Mougli from Jungle Book) in amaze (or was it amusement ) that I wished there were a backspace button somewhere. When I got to know the meaning the next day, I was embarrassed, but then I thought it was better than the shopowner doing according to what I said.
Now you would be thinking that Tushar does not like Bangalore at all and is totally fed up. But, I feel liking cities is similar to liking girls. If there is a girl you are attracted to at first sight you rate her perfect. If you get close to her, your opinions change from very good to good to cool, and finally to OK. Similarly, there is a girl you hate initially, and you get close to her, your opinions change from bad to not so bad to so-so, and finally to OK. Nobody is not-so-great or not-so-worse. Same is the case with cities. No cities are terrible to live or heaven. There are pros and cons in every city, like every one of us. Its upto us how we see it, or what we want to see.
Its been more than three months that I am in Bangalore. The reason why I am telling you this is that I want to stress that whatever I have scribbled henceforth is not based on first impression, but huge experience. (I heard 3 months experience in software industries is considered as mammoth). The actual point being that I want to emphasize that I don’t jump to conclusions so early, like Tony Greg and so unlike Jeffrey Boycott. Talking of Jeffery Boycott, my sister says that he suffered throat cancer because he used to criticize every cricketer, which in turn strengthens her belief in God !
Anyways, talking of Bangalore, things anybody would recall most are idlis, dosas, bisibeLabhat, puLiogre, hoLLige (non- kannadigas should not dare to pronounce these) posh shopping malls, bunglows galore everywhere, traffic jams, Kannada language and software companies. (The above list was in the order of things that matter to me most to things that matter to me least)
The first impression of Bangalore was that it is a great city. Though I have come from a city not too different from Bangalore, Pune, I found many things dissimilar. Bangalore is bigger than Pune in every proportion, and the natives are also larger in size. (This size is average physical size, there are only 35-40% Kannadigas in Bangalore) But alas! My first impressions have seldom been correct, may it be city, a girl, a movie, a book, a hook, a crook, a cook or a look. The charm I found in this city was soon lost, similar to the gleam in eyes of a girl when she got to know me and my habits better.
Food has always been my primary necessity for living, besides air and water and so I will start of with food. If it were not food, I would have died. I always had an impression that idli and dosa (i think of them as younger sister and elder brother) constitute for an ideal breakfast. I said “and” and not “or”. I liked bisibeLabhat ( rice and sambar cooked together) a lot, though could not figure out why it tasted so differently at different places. After I leave Bangalore, I would give a million bucks to eat good bisibeLabhat. (the definition of good is up to me though) Water here has some characteristic to pull out hair from your scalp. I previously attributed the baldness of software engineers to the work pressure. But the best thing about Bangalore is air, that is climate. It is fair enough to say that climate here is always suitable to play cricket.
The up-market shopping malls (and those who visit those malls) can easily attract anybody to spend weekend evenings over there. This is the only thing which you can spend in those shopping malls, because if you intend to spend money over there, you got to be brave, rich, foolish or ill-fated. Ill-fated for many reasons, just one of them being having a girlfriend or wife who takes you to these malls for shopping (the real one). Though I am not ill-fated, one other option suits me well. My close ones can guess it easily. I purchased a go-bonkers jeans from that mall and literally went bonkers. It was the first time in my life that I saw a 5-digit price tag on a shirt. I told my friend that I can buy “3-digit” shirts in this amount, in my usual voice, which was heard by everybody in the shop. The shopkeeper didn’t let us to stay there for a minute more.
Being from Pune, I had a typical flat system mentality and only fantasized about living in a bunglow. But when I came here, picture was entirely different. I stay with my friends in a bunglow. Most people own bunglow because flats are costly ! They think of shifting into an apartment once they gather enough money ! I remember the typical sentence I used to hear in Pune “Tumhi kai baba, bangalewale lok ! “ (You are rich, you stay in bunglows , in a damn sarcastic way). I wish to learn Kannada and hear the counterpart of it.
You will find traffic jams everywhere in Bangalore. May it be highway, one-way or subway. There is a flyover in BTM, on which they have written the estimated date and month of completion, but not year. Pretty smart. It can take you anywhere between 25 minutes to 2 hours to reach from BTM to electronic city (distance is close to 9 km.).One more thing, you will find lot of street dogs in Bangalore, but pity, still the Hutch network is bad.
I am a movie buff, so everytime I pass through a movie theatre, I compulsorily look at the hoarding. And voila !!! I got to see here some of the best posters I had ever seen. Being an ardent movie fan, I feel it improper to call those clumsy, weird, cheap. The primary responsibility of poster is that it should tell you at first glance what is at store for you in the movie. From the posters I have seen here, I infer the following (These may be criterions to be followed to get the movie cleared from censor board). 75% area of the poster should be occupied by the face of hero. Hero must be a rebellion therefore must have a fierce look on his face ( I will kill you , you b****** - look), must have a weapon in his hand. This weapon may not be traditional like sword, gun, etc. The popularity of the movie is directly proportional to the innovation of the director in the use of weapon. Axe, bamboo stick ( in all sizes and shapes, just like movie heroines) ,chain (the one I use when I travel by train to lock my luggage) are all things of the past. If these are the weapons of past, then one might ask what are the ones which are currently “in” ? The answer is simple. These weapons do not have any names, in English, Hindi, Marathi or even Kannada. One weapon was a bamboo stick with 4 knives attached at both ends. The side view of this weapon would be similar to capital “I” in English language. The hero must be in some extraordinary pose like stretching arms, kicking, etc. Now combine the above two statements. Hero with a weapon and a pose. See it to believe it ! Hero must possess a moustache. I don’t know exactly, but that might be useful in differentiating hero from heroine. Hero must have a mother. Having father is optional. And now my favourite topic in movies, Heroines. Usually heroines here have a very small place on poster, many times only the face and that too blushing. I don’t know whether it is the public demand or it is because it is difficult to fit the whole picture of heroine. The heroine must have at least one song in traditional dress.
When in Pune, I used to think that the auto rickshaw wallas in Pune are worst of the lot, they are rude and leave no chance of deceiving the passengers. Opinions change. That’s why they are for. I now think that rickshaw-wallas in Pune are those God-send angels on earth to serve the aam-janta in Pune. Once a rickshaw-walla here asked my friend to give him Rs. 13 when the meter showed 12.50. Being asked why, he said “it would have been 13 if you would have gone some distance more”. One and half rate starts at 9.00 PM and ends at 10 PM. After that double meter starts ! This is not official, but this is what these people demand !
I liked Kannada language, its good to listen, but a tongue twister for any North-Indian. Especially I like the way they stretch the last letter of last word of sentence while pronunciation. This liking landed me in trouble. Instead of “Ondu watermelon juice kOdi”, I said “Ondu watermelon juice kUdi”. Some goof up in “kOdi and kUdi” changed the meaning from “Give me one watermelon juice” to “Drink one watermelon juice”. The shopowner at the cash counter made his eyes so big (I remembered Mougli from Jungle Book) in amaze (or was it amusement ) that I wished there were a backspace button somewhere. When I got to know the meaning the next day, I was embarrassed, but then I thought it was better than the shopowner doing according to what I said.
Now you would be thinking that Tushar does not like Bangalore at all and is totally fed up. But, I feel liking cities is similar to liking girls. If there is a girl you are attracted to at first sight you rate her perfect. If you get close to her, your opinions change from very good to good to cool, and finally to OK. Similarly, there is a girl you hate initially, and you get close to her, your opinions change from bad to not so bad to so-so, and finally to OK. Nobody is not-so-great or not-so-worse. Same is the case with cities. No cities are terrible to live or heaven. There are pros and cons in every city, like every one of us. Its upto us how we see it, or what we want to see.
posted by Tushar Kulkarni | 11:16 PM
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